Since the sting of miscarriage has [mostly] subsided, my focus has been 100% dedicated to bettering my mind and body for our next go-around. I've been reading fertility books, doing Weight Watchers (I gained 10 lbs during the pregnancy), exercising regularly (yoga and The Firm workout dvds), meditating, charting my basal body temperature (bbt) and cervical fluid plus going to acupuncture treatments. Some may think this is all a bit extreme. Obsessive, maybe. Overwhelming, perhaps. I see it as a necessity. Physically, my body may be ready to get pregnant, again. But I must proactively work on getting the emotional part in order.
One of my friends recently complimented me - telling me I was so strong. I like to think so. But I also think that strength is directly tied to resiliency. I have been knocked down many times in the past - mostly during the highs and lows of dating - only to have to force myself to get over it and move on. Although this time, it's not as much about getting over it as it is about getting back up again. We want a baby. And although I am mentally prepping for success, the reality is another miscarriage is not out of the realm of possibilities. One of my dear friends had three in a row before having two beautiful boys. Three! Each time having to manage the disappointment and sadness. And each time having to pick herself back up again and decide she was ready to try again. Resiliency kept her going. And rewarded her with two healthy pregnancies. I need to believe I can manage anything on my journey, while having faith that our next pregnancy will be a healthy one.
So I am eating better, moving more, reading more, believing more. Am I obsessing? I don't think so. I see myself as focused, driven, and dedicated to my next pregnancy. I see myself creating a warm, inviting environment for my future fetus. I see myself as a master in visualizing an adorable baby that looks just like the perfect combo of me and my husband. I see myself moving forward... towards making my future family a reality.
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